L for Lessons in Private Schooling

Looking for a private school for your child? You may learn something from these lessons...


Lesson 1:
Friend: So how did the Ox-Cambridge entrance exams, *tongue in cheek*, for your 7 year-old go?
Mother: Oh, he failed!
Friend: What? Any feedback?
Mother: They said he is still teacher-dependant...


Lesson 2:
Mother of 4 year old checking out a potential private school.
Administrator: So your son can read? Hmmm...what books does he read?
Mother: Err, Ladybird books...
Administrator: Please send us a list of the books he has read in the last 6 months.


Lesson 3:
Administrator: These are the terms of reference. Please read them carefully, especially the small print. (First page: Fees) 
Mother: ...And what does the entry exam entail?
Administrator: It covers maths, reading, writing and science.
Mother: Science?
Administrator: Its Ringgit Malaysia $1000 (USD330) for a sitting.
Mother: (Gulp)
Administrator: A resit is possible if he fails, other schools don't allow it, but we do.


Lesson 4:
Upon entry to play school/kindergarten/pre-school for a child 18 months old.
Mother: So what do the children do everyday? Is there a schedule?
Head: Well he is 18 months now, say 2 years old. Don't worry by the time we finish with him he will be able to read, write, do maths - ready for the entry exams.
At this stage, Mother didn't quite know what the Head meant. Now she does!


Lesson 5:
Mother 1: My boy failed the entry exam.
Mother 2: Couldn't he do the sums?
Mother 1: They said he couldn't join the dots and he coloured out of the box!